Ghostbusters poster“Who you GONNA CALL!?!?!?” That is the preemptive question that I am asking you on this very day I write this (the 15th day in July) as we bear witness to the attempted relaunch of a beloved franchise. That’s right Flicker Fans, we’re going to talk about Ghostbusters: Did we ask for this movie?

Now, a lot of you might be reading that and thinking, “Hey, that’s not the title…where the hell does he get off thinking that adding a second part to that Ghostbusters title is ok?” How, you ask? How do I dare do something so blasphemous??!?! Why, the same way I’m writing this movie review Flicker Fans….I am (pause for dramatic effect)….writing this review, BEFORE I SEE THE MOVIE!!! Dun…dun…dunnnnnnnn. That’s right folks, I’m striking this iron while it’s hot and writing a predictive review of this movie with the hopes (yes, the hopes) that I am wrong in EVERY sense of the word. This is what I have planned, so bear with me.

Look, I added the “Did we ask for this movie” because honestly, did we? I mean, I think we were all pining for a new Ghostbusters movie and were even excited about its prospects, but let’s be real. I think we were all a little turned off on the idea the very minute that news broke about Harold Ramis’ passing. I know I was. And that’s not to say that I wasn’t excited about how the movie decided to cast women in the main roles…awesome….Chris Hemsworth in the secretary role, cool…(yea, I’m even on board with that, I think he does well in comedy and would love to see him do a little more). But let’s be real about this movie and this review that I’m writing; both of them are going to make no sense. But it’s a predictive review, and something new, so I’ll ask like the cast of Ghostbusters cast is asking, “Hey, just give it a shot ok, please?”

Starring Kristin Wiig (she’s awesome, BRIDES MAIDS, SNL), Melissa McCarthy (HEAT, SPY, she’s awesome also), Kate McKinnon (SNL, she’s cool), and Leslie Jones (SNL, eh…she’s alright). These four talents who have all but mastered their comedic style and performance, really take on some HUGE shoes to fill being a fan of the previous Ghostbusters films (yea, I like both of them, don’t give a hard time alright. I saw them as a kid, and I’ll still find time to watch them when they’re on tv today SO LEAVE IT BE!!!)…..sorry, that was excessive. Back to the movie. So here we have 4 talented people, all geared up and ready to win the hearts of America (“Murica!”), and we just need the script and green light to make it work. Here’s the problem- fans.

Fans of the previous movies (or even just the first) LOVE the characters that they had. Loved the characters that were on screen, and LOVED the idea of all of them getting back together. It’s kind of like watching BEVERLY HILLS COP, but with a different actor playing Axel Foley. You like the idea of seeing the movie, but you’re not really sure how you feel about seeing another movie without the actor that made it special; Eddie Murphy. It wasn’t just that the movie might be bad, but the movie doesn’t really have any of our favorite parts in it. It seems over-the-top, adopted, weak, and a sad incorporation of what made the first movie special. Kind of like them trying to make characters LIKE the original, but not having the money or energy to PAY the original actors*(see INDEPENDENCE DAY REVIEW). That kind of move just DOESN’T work.

So, I said this was a prediction, so here’s my prediction for this movie. I’m going to do this right now, but again, remember, I have not seen the movie so I’m totally guessing. So, WARNING, BELOW BE SPOILERS (maybe? Kind of? shit who knows….I’m totally guessing).

This movie takes place in New York, we come over the city with our generic interaction with a ghost prompting the idea, “Oh shit, we need to help the city…there be GHOST in town.” Our heroines find out that they need to help and come up with a plan to take care of the ghost. So much is happening now. Ghosts everwhere. Enter shameless cameo of some of the old Ghostbuster who may or may not have an idea on how to fix everything. Enter shameless nostalgic cameo of Slimer (who apparently has a girlfriend now). Oh wait, we’re getting so busy we need an assistant (enter Hemsworth). He’s hot, handsome, heroic and just an all around kind of goofy guy who doesn’t really realize how hot he is. They find out who is “raising all the dead and creating these ghosts.” The “thing” that is doing this finds the Ghostbusters and figures out the best way for it to stop our heroines is to possess one of their own, Hemsworth. He becomes the bad guy, they have slime, they save the good guy, bad guy gets banished back to hell or wherever. Dancing to silly music, hooray they save the day.

So help me GOD if this is even close to accurate as to what’s going to happen with this movie I am going to lose my SHIT! I have just watched the trailers at this point and I’m curious as to see (and hope) how funny this movie is going to be. It has a 73% rating of “fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes. What the WHAT?!?!?!? 73%!!!!! The film review site that seems to seriously “get off” on destroying movies and everything about them. I mean, I can be critical and even harsh at times, but they go to try and murder someone’s spirit.

Ok…..enough of that rant, but that ranking seriously did surprise me.

So what I’m hoping is that this movie is saved by our writers and performers. Katie Dippold (writer of THE HEAT, a few episodes of PARKS AND RECREATION). I loved both of those projects so I have high hopes that she delivers another hit with this movie and relaunches these characters. Paul Feig was the other writer credited on this film and we all know him from BRIDES MAIDS and THE HEAT as well. Loved both of those movies and I really hope to see what they’ve done with this beloved franchise from my childhood.

So that’s it. That’s my “prediction review.” I know it’s a little negative, but what can I say? When I saw the first trailer for this movie, I immediately wanted to punch myself in the face for watching something so stupid. I mean, either that or slam my face in the keyboard crying and asking, “Why God, WHY!?!??!” But I managed to hold it together and it’s finally here. I’m going to watch this movie, and I’m going to tell you all about it saying either, “Who you gonna call?” or, “We need a call to arms, because this was some bullshit.”